11. Should Confrontation be avoided?

We live in an era of conflicts. Conflicts are so common in the world we live today.that conflict management has evolved as a field of study. Management courses will be incomplete without elaborate sessions on managing conflicts.

Conflicts lead to situations in which confrontation seems to be the only way out. People often fight to the finish. Whether we win or lose a fight is considered to be an essential part of living. Humour and self-esteem are often associated with a willingness to fight even if it could lead to destruction.

To understand confrontation in perspective, we should distinguish between two types of confrontation - confrontation on issues and confrontation between people.

Obviously, confrontation on issues is something we should never shy away from. It is confrontation between people that can be and should be avoided.

When we are stuck with issues or handicapped by a problem, we ought to do something to resolve the issue or solve the problem. The process of resolving an issue requires that we have the courage and the integrity to assess and accept the reality and take steps to overcome it. This is precisely what is meant by confrontation on an issue.

Confrontation between two sets of people takes place when there is a conflict of interests.The history of civilization is packed with stories of confrontation between various tribes.

The two types confrontation I have mentioned above demand two diametrically opposite approaches. Confronting issues is both a healthy practice and a necessary requirement.When you are facing an obstacle, the only way to move ahead is to remove that obstacle using all our physical and intellectual prowess.

10. Lost and Found!

Recently, one evening, I took my granddaughter to the children’s play area (commonly known as the park) of my apartment block. 

It was only an hour after returning home from the park that I noticed that my mobile phone was missing. I rushed to the park and made a desperate search that proved to be futile.

The park is common for two adjacent apartment blocks. I checked with the security guard of my block whether anyone had reported finding an abandoned phone in the park but got a negative reply from him. I requested him to check with the security guard of the adjacent block. Presently, he informed me that no one from the adjacent block had reported finding a phone either.

My entire family including my wife, son and daughter-in-law joined me in the search. Not to be left behind, my 40 month old granddaughter also contributed her mite by telling me emphatically, “Grandpa! You should have left your phone in the park!”

The technically savvy members of the search team comprising my son and daughter-in-law used Google to locate my phone. The omniscient Google showed the phone to be in our complex, indicating the adjacent block as the probable place of refuge of my phone

We used the Google facility of making the phone ring for 5 minutes. My son told me that the ring would go even if the phone were in silent mode. But there was no response to these efforts.

Even as technology was being used to trace the phone, I wrote Sriramajayam and recited Vishnu Sahasranamam, the two traditional methods that have always helped and guided me during difficult situations in the past. I was a little reluctant to use these methods, wondering whether I was invoking something special for resolving a trivial issue. Then I convinced myself that though using excel to find the sum of 5 and 4 may appear somewhat inappropriate, excel would, nevertheless, give the correct answer!

Time passed, with no developments.The phone remained in the same position, if one were to accept Google’s infallibility. We called this number several times from a couple of phones and also used the Google’s facility of generating a ring for 5 minutes, a couple of times. But nothing happened.

My son suggested that I could lock the phone from Google using a password. I did this, with a lurking concern that I should be able to type the password correctly and unlock the phone, if it was retrieved! As prompted by Google, I typed a message requesting the finder to return the phone to the address given. Google would have the message displayed on my mobile screen.

My wife, for her part, sent a message to my whatsapp, requesting the finder to return the phone to the owner at the address given in the message. I watched with amusement, the whatsapp message appearing in my laptop, thanks to the whatsapp web installed in the laptop!

Before going to bed around midnight, I did two more things. I gave one more 5-minute long ring using Google, hoping that the long ring at midnight would be heard by someone and would provoke them to take some action. I also initiated a psychic step I had read in a book, by drinking some water from a tumbler and leaving a small quantity of water in the tumbler to remain overnight. The belief was that when I drank the remaining water in the morning, the problem would get solved!

I got up in the morning with no good news awaiting me. There had been no information about my phone. And my wife decanted the water I had left in the tumbler, without knowing that I had left it for a purpose! Was it an indication that I won’t get back the phone, I wondered.

It was about 8.30 am, when the calling bell of my apartment sounded. A lady living in the adjacent apartment block stood there with my phone in her hand. She said that she had found it on the road, outside her block and that she had no idea whom it belonged to. She said that though she heard the phone ring a few times, she was too busy to answer it. I wondered both about her claim of finding the phone on the road and about her explanation (or lack of it) about not responding to the 26 calls made to the phone from other phones and the couple of long rings generated by Google that would have disturbed anyone.

However, it was time to be grateful. So, I thanked her profusely and celebrated my getting united with my smart phone! Perhaps, blocking the phone and giving a message had an effect. Thank you, Technology and thank you, Google!

9. Patting on the Cheek!

If you encounter a difficult question posed by someone, a question for which you don't have a convincing answer, what will you do?

a) You will give an honest answer and face the consequences

b) You will find a way to  be evasive and prevaricate

c) You will say "I refuse to answer the question since it will incriminate me" as a witness will sometimes say in a court in Perry Mason stories.

d) You will go away abruptly without answering the question

Well, if you feel that you can't choose any of the above four options, you have a fifth option. This innovative and revolutionary approach for circumventing a difficult or embarrassing question was demonstrated by a celebrity very recently.

You just pat on the cheek of the questioner!

Never mind if the questioner is of a gender different from yours. If anything, this technique will work better if a man does it to a woman. (I am not sure whether it will work so well if the woman does it to a man!) In any case, you can claim that your 'hand on cheek' action was your way of wriggling out of the need to answer her question!

When I say this is a technique and it is powerful, I am not speculating or being hypothetical.The person who used it recently has been so graceful as to reveal this for the benefit of mankind (even if it means not being kind to women!). If he had not done so, people would have been speculating about his motives for patting on the cheek of a woman. Some might have even been so unkind as to remark what a cheek he had to touch the cheek of a woman without any consideration for her feelings.

As far as I know, the gentleman has not yet patented this technique.

However, I find two practical problems in people using this technique.

1) Since the person whose cheek is touched may be washing it several times, there may be huge consumption of water.

2) Another gentleman known for his wisecracks has advised that the hand that touches the cheek of another person has to be washed with phenyle. This may result in consumption of even more water.

Considering the severe water scarcity experienced by people everywhere, we need to have a closer look at the viability of this technique.

So, in the ultimate analysis, the technique of patting on the cheek does not appear to be viable, notwithstanding the ingenious idea behind it!  Perhaps, one should settle for another technique demonstrated by another gentleman sometime back!

8. Nirbhaya, again!

In 2012, the entire nation was outraged by the rape and murder of the 23-year old Nirbhaya. After 5 years, the nation is witnessing another outrage, this time caused by a seemingly innocuous, yet utterly insensitive remark of a retired police chief.

Speaking at a ceremony organized to honour women, the gentleman said that he could imagine how beautiful Nirbhaya would have been by seeing the good physique of her mother!

Does this remark not suggest that it was not surprising that Nirbhaya was raped considering how beautiful she was? The rape accused could perhaps have used this argument in defense of his crime, if only he had thought about this!

The gentleman had defended his remark (vide the Hindu of 17th March 2018) that it was  only a compliment and that he was trying to draw the attention of the people about the vulnerability of women, particularly beautiful women.

I wonder how a person who held such a responsible position that too in the police department could have been so unrestrained. Rather than regretting his remark, he is justifying it! If an ordinary person told a girl 'Hi! You are beautiful', he could be arrested for eve-teasing or sexual harassment!

The ex police also had a piece of advice for prospective rape victims. He suggested that the victim surrender so that she could save her life. Perhaps, this is about being pragmatic!

Nirbhaya means being fearless. Some people do not seem to be afraid of embarrassing themselves and others by the things they say.

Elsewhere, Dr. Vijayabhaskar, Tamilnadu's health minister told a woman journalist "Your specs look beautiful. You are looking beautiful."

He has clarified that he said this to divert the attention of the journalists from asking him political questions. What an innovative way to avoid questions from the media! Never mind if this remark could have embarrassed the lady!

Mr. Vijayabhaskar has often been targeted for criticism by the DMK leader Stalin. When Mr. Vijayabhaskar meets Mr.Stalin the next time, he may say "Mr. Stalin! You are looking handsome!" Perhaps, this will make Mr. Stalin so stunned to stop him from criticizing Mr. Vijayabhaskar! 

7. Google Loves Tamil!

When we want to search for information, we go to Google. But, for once, Google came in search of us for giving us information! This happened on 13th March 2018 at Hyatt Regency, Chennai in the form of  'Google for Tamil' event.

Considering that Google had extended asdsense to Tamil sites only on 9th February 2018, this event was launched pretty quick.

Even as I entered the venue, I felt proud and joyous to see the banner 'Google for Tamil.' But it was only the beginning of my excitement. I was astounded by the extensive and exhaustive coverage of topics related to adsense during the event and the thorough preparation by the executives of Google who made presentations on different aspects of content creation and the power of adsense.

I didn't intend to write about the event. Therefore I didn't take notes. Nor did I note down the names of the wonderful people who made the lively and useful presentations. These Google executives had landed Chennai from various places. Some of them didn't know Tamil and had to necessarily speak in English. However one person contributed a lot in Tamil and ensured that even the participants not so well versed in English got the message.

So, what was the seminar about?

The seminar broadly covered 5 areas

1) Fast growth in the number of netizens looking for information in Tamil and the huge demand for Tamil content this rapid growth has been creating.

2) The increasing interest advertisers have been showing for using Tamil sites as a vibrant platform for advertising and the expected increase in advertising income of Tamil sites because of this.

3) Understanding of the adjustments required to make the websites mobile friendly in the background of the increasing use of mobile phones for browsing the net.

4) Best practices for using adsense to the best advantage.

5) Adsesnse policy and the need to be clear about the mistakes and unacceptable practices that might lead to one's adsense account being suspended or terminated.

All the speakers displayed a commendable skill of presentation enriched by their knowledge of the topics they were presenting and a consummate thoroughness of preparation. All of them answered the questions fielded by some of the participants. Their patience in answering the supplementary questions persistently asked by some of the participants is worth applauding.

There was also a panel discussion in which an advertiser, a publisher, a technical expert and a successful youtube channel operator participated. In my opinion, instead of this panel discussion, giving a time slot of 15 minutes to each of these 4 people to answer the questions posed by the participants would have been more beneficial.

Food turned out to be another bonanza. Starting with an elaborate breakfast, there was a continuous flow of food at short intervals in the form of tea/coffee with a lot of snacks during the tea break in the forenoon, a sumptuous lunch in the afternoon that included an endless number of courses and a high tea at the end of the program.

What were my takeaways?

I have realized the huge potential for Tamil content in the net and the tremendous scope for monetisation. Though I have been using adsense for my English blogs for the past few years, I have earned very little adsense revenue. Meeting, in this event, many people with a lot of enthusiasm, amazing talents and stunning achievements, has inspired me to achieve much more. Since I have a lot of interest and enthusiasm for writing (and some flair too!), I have decided to focus on providing content for which there is a huge demand.

I am thankful to Google for extending adsense to Tamil websites and for organizing this exciting and inspiring event.

I am grateful to Indiblogger who extended the invitation to me and enabled me to participate in this event.

6. Tragedy Can Strike the Hapless in Strange Ways

It may be too late to talk about demonetization. Both the supporters and critics of this move seem to have presented their closing arguments and moved to other topics..

But it seems it is never too late for demonetization itself  to strike people. I am not referring to the seizure of old currency that has been taking place every now and then. After all, the hoarders of the demonetized notes deserve to be punished.

But one can't help sympathizing with Ms Meenakshi, a poor lady from Hassan, Karnataka, with a disability to hear or speak who realized that the sum of Rs.1.39 lakh that she had saved up and stashed had no value. The tragedy is that she learned of the impact of demonetization too late (only in the third week of April), more than 3 months after the deadline prescribed by the government for exchanging or depositing the demonetized notes and more than 15 days after the grace period that ended on March 31, 2017.

Considering that Meenakshi has been earning Rs.1500 per month as a domestic help, in addition to the disability pension of Rs.1200 per month, so kindly doled out by the government, we can imagine how much sacrifice .she should have endured over the years to save such a substantial sum from her poor earnings, which should have been still less in the past.

After demonetization had been announced, Meenakshi's family members asked her whether she had any cash  with her. But the poor woman seems to have refrained from talking about her savings, fearing that her precious savings would be taken away from her. It has been taken away from her in a totally unexpected way.

The government officials have pleaded their inability to help her since the rules won't permit any help. I don't know whether any philanthropists have come forward to help her.

Needless to say, the government is not responsible for Meenakshi's plight. It appears that fate has played a cruel game on her. We can only pray for happiness.

5. Justice and Revenge

There were two important judgements during the first week of May, 2017.

One was in the Nirbhaya case. The Supreme Court, on 5th May, 2017,  upheld the death sentence awarded to the four rapists by the Delhi High Court. For the incident that took place in 2012, the final judgement has come in about five years' time. The nationwide attention this gruesome incident received, the outrage it created among vast sections of the people and the wide coverage this incident received from the media would have contributed, at least to some extent, to the somewhat expeditious disposal of the case.

Reacting to the judgement, Nirbhaya's father said that he had lost sleep for the last five years. He added, "I will sleep peacefully tonight. My daughter will also rest in peace."

While I could understand the intensity of his mental pain and his physical strain in losing sleep during the last 5 years, I felt a little disturbed by the second part of his statement. It is good that he is getting back to normalcy and is hopeful of having a good night's sleep from now. But I am not sure how sentencing the culprit to death can end the agony of the victim's relatives. I don't think that the victim's resting in peace depends on the culprits getting hanged, either.

Well, Nirbhaya's father has gone through a period of intense pain and my full sympathies are with him. May God give him the peace he needs and deserves.

The second was a judgement delivered on 8th may, 2017, by the Bombay high Court in the Bilkis Bano case. Bilkis Bano was 19 years old and pregnant  when she was gangraped on March 3, 2002 during the post-Godhra riots that rocked Gukarar. Ms Bano was the only adult survivor and eyewitness to the massacre  of 14 members of her family including her three and a half year old daughter.

The Bombay High Court (the case was transferred to Maharashtra by the Supreme Court since  the victim could not get justice in Gujarat, then under the rule of Mr. Narendra Modi) upheld the conviction of the 11 accused and also upturned the acquittal of  7 others, thus delivering a guilty verdict on a total of 18 individuals, including 5 policemen and 2 doctors.

What is significant is the reaction of the 34 year old (Yes, it has taken 19 years for this judgement to come) Ms. Bano to the judgement.  When she was asked by reporters whether she didn't wish that the accused in this case were awarded death sentence as in the case of the Nirbhaya case, she said, "The horrors I suffered deserve the maximum punishment but I do not want anyone else to die in my name. I want justice, not revenge."

I salute this lady for her attitude!

4. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Please don't read this if you are not acquainted with the politics of Tamilnadu.

The party that rules the state of Tamilnadu is the AIADMK (Don't bother about the expansion of this rather long abbreviation. The expanded name has no significance either in terms of meaning or in terms of relevance. The party has been. going through an identity and survival crisis for the past 5 or 6 months and has recently been asked by the Election Commission of India to choose a new name and symbol till the Commission decides which of the two factions of the party is authentic!)

A few months back, posters were put up in the party office at Lloyds Road, Chennai, hailing Mrs. V.K.Sasikala who was set to become the General Secretary of the party, a post that became vacant on 6th December, 2016, the day the holder of that office Miss J.Jayalalitha was (officially) pronounced dead by the Apollo Hospital where she was lying in an uncertain condition for 75 days, from 22nd September, 2016, the day she was admitted and diagnosed with fever and dehydration.

A party worker who was furious with the very idea of Mrs. Sasikala, a close friend and aide of Miss Jayalalitha for the past 30 years and a person widely perceived to be highly corrupt, becoming the General Secretary of the party, a post which is akin to that of a ringmaster in a circus, tore up the posters.

Some party leaders who watched this 'outrage' rushed to the offender. One of them, a senior minister, beat him up. This incident was flashed in many TV channels. Of course, the police took no cognisance of the offence committed by the minister.

Eventually Mrs Sasikala became the General Secretary of the party, having been unanimously elected by all the members of the General Council of the party. The person who, at that time, was holding the post of the Chief Minister of the state, hailed her as the only person who could save the party and lead it. He also fell at her feet, in keeping with the 'culture' of the party. It is another matter that he revolted a couple of days after he was asked to quit his post in favor of the person described by him as the only capable leader of the party. Anyway, this post is not about this rebel!

Soon after getting ensconced in the position of the General Secretary of the party, Mrs. Sasikala decided that she should be the Chief Minister too. It was when the loyalist became the rebel. Mrs. Sasikala was jailed by a Supreme Court judgement that was fortuitously delivered a few days after she got herself elected as the leader of the party's legislators including the loyalist who subsequently became a rebel. By a quirk of fate, the minister who beat up the party worker, became the Chief Minister! I don't have to tell his name. If you don't know his name, please read the first sentence of this post again!

Today (on 26th April 2017), supporters of the Chief Minister removed the banners of Mrs. Sasikala that have been in display at the premises for the past 3 or 4 months!

Yesterday, the man beat up a party worker for removing a poster carrying he image of Mrs. Sasikala.

Today, the same man, through his men,  is engaged in removing the banners  carrying the image of Mrs. Sasikala.

 I wonder what this man will do tomorrow!

Tailpiece:  Netru, Indru, NaaLai (Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow) was the title of a film in which the founder of the party, the late MGR,  had acted (as the hero, of course!)

3. Yours arbitrarily

I came across two interesting news items in the first page of the Hindu of 23rd April 2017. The first item under the headline "CJ pitches for zero govt. role in arbitration process'  reported the speech of Mr. J.S.Khehar, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court pleading that the government should keep away from  the arbitration process to help promote the confidence of the business community in international arbitration available in India. You can read the full report here.

Right below this news report is another with a screaming headline 'Govt. plea against military pay upgrade sparks unease.' This news is about the govt. filing an appeal in the Supreme Court against the judgement of Armed Forces Tribunal.

Here we have the CJI advising the govt. to keep away from arbitration. Just below this news is the news about the govt. unwilling to accept the verdict of a tribunal!

I am aware that there can be a technical difference between an arbitration setup and a tribunal. But both are arrangements for settling disputes between two parties through the intervention of a third party. 

So I see the government's defiance against the tribunal verdict as an unwillingness to accept the award of a mediator. Constitutionally, the government has the right to appeal against the tribunal's verdict. But the attitude of the government is intriguing. It is 'Either I win or you lose!.' Given this attitude of the govt, can we expect it to keep away from an arbitration process?

I thus find the juxtaposition of the two reports in the newspaper as a representation of irony.

Tailpiece: in case you are intrigued by the title of this post, some of the meanings of arbitrary are:
1) subject to individual will or judgement without restriction
2) contingent solely upon one's discretion
3) having unlimited power
4) uncontrolled or unrestricted by law
5) despotic, tyrannical
6) unreasonable, capricious, unsupported (by logic or rationale)

2. Will the Bandh be Successful?

As we all know, a Bandh has been called on 25th April 2017 in support of the farmers' struggle for justice.

"Will the Bandh be successful?" I asked.

"Of course it will be" said my friend Know-All "Have you not noticed the support that has been pouring in from various sections of people?"

"Yes, I have. I can see that unlike many other Bandhs, this Bandh, I mean the call for this Bandh, has received a lot of spontaneous support. There is genuine sympathy for the cause for which the farmers have been fighting. There is also an undercurrent of anger against both the central government and the state government for having not done enough."

"Then why do you doubt the success of the Bandh?"

"I agree that the Bandh will have a strong impact. But..okay, let me ask you another question. Have you, I mean the organizers of the Bandh, considered how the Bandh would affect the lives of ordinary people?"

"Yes, there will be inconveniences. But people will have to bear this in public interest. After all, the Bandh was announced about a week in advance and people have had enough time to prepare themselves for the inconveniences. Moreover, essential services like hospitals will function."

"Yes. Hospitals will function. But how will people reach the hospitals when there is no transport? What about people travelling on that day.? People will have no conveyance to reach the railway stations or bus stands and people arriving at a place will have no conveyance to go to their destinations."

Know-All was thinking how to respond to this.

Taking advantage of his silence, I continued "There is one great injustice about the Bandhs. They affect the poor more than they affect the well-to-do."

"How do you say this?" retorted Know-All "Everyone is equally affected."

"No. The rich have their own vehicles and they can use them to go where they want to. The business owners will suffer only the loss of profit for a day. They may be able to even make up at least part of this loss through higher sales during the days preceding and succeeding the Bandh. But the poor daily labourers, street hawkers and the small traders will suffer irreparable losses."

"Okay. Tell me why you said that the Bandh won't be successful" asked Know-All. He knows when and how to change tack!

"I didn't say the Bandh won't be successful. I only asked you whether it would be successful. By success, I meant the objective of the Bandh."

"What do you mean?"

"Okay. let us say the Bandh has a very good impact. What will happen after this? Will the government come forward to redress the grievances of the farmers?"

"Are you suggesting that we shouldn't protest at all?"

"No. I only asked you whether the Bandh would achieve the purpose for which it was organized. As far as I know, not one of the hundreds of the Bandhs that have taken place in the past has achieved the purpose for which the Bandh was called for."

"Why it is so?" For once, Know-All wanted to know something from me!

"Once the Bandh is over, its impact is also over! Why should the government take any action? The government will act only to prevent problems that may arise in future. There is not going to be another Bandh on the same issue in the near future! But in the case of a strike, the government may climb down and talk to the protesters because the strike will keep causing problems and the government can't afford to allow the problems to continue for long!"

"Well,if the Government doesn't act even after the Bandh, then people will intensify their agitation through other means," said Know-All.

"You mean through other kinds of protests like demonstrations, hunger strikes etc?"

"Yes."

"But they could have adopted these kinds of protests, even without having resorted to the Bandh."

Know-All became silent. Perhaps, he was thinking, something which he doesn't do often!

Tailpiece: I fully support the cause of the Bandh. I wish that the objective for which the Bandh has been called is realized soon. I also wish that people fighting for the cause and those supporting them had resorted to actions other than calling for a Bandh.

1. French Elections

One consequence of the development of satellite television and the proliferation of news channels in almost all languages is the spread of the awareness about international affairs to even remote areas of our country (India). About 15 years back, people of Tamilnadu or Karnataka might not have even been conscious of an election in a North Indian state like UP or Bihar, much less paid attention to it. But this year's elections to UP and four other states were keenly watched by people all over India.

The interest has extended even to elections in different parts of the world. Today, even a villager in some remote part of India follows elections in the US and possibly other countries. I am sure that the Presidential election of France has been receiving the attention of a large number of people in India.

One interesting or even unique feature of the French Presidential Election is that the winner has to get more than 50% of the votes. In a many-cornered contest, often, no one gets more than 50% of the votes. In such a scenario, the two candidates getting the largest number of votes are selected for the final round.

In the final round, only two candidates will be in the fray. Therefore, one of them is bound to get more than 50% of the votes. In the just concluded French Presidential election, five candidates were in the fray. Mr. Macron got about 24% of the votes and Ms Le Pen about 21.5% (I am using the word 'about,' because only 97% of the votes have been counted at the time of my writing this line.)

With no candidate getting more than 50% of the votes, there will be another round of election on May 7, in which Mr Macron and Ms Le Pen will be the only two candidates. Whoever gets more than 50% in that election will be elected the President of France.

If this requirement of winning more than 50% of the votes had not been there, Mr. Macron, having received the largest number of votes among all the five candidates, would have become the President. A person for whom less than one fourth of the voters becoming the country's President can hardly be considered a reflection of the people's will!

But this is how members of parliament and legislative assemblies are being elected in India. In many constituencies, candidates getting less than 30% of the votes get elected because the remaining 70% of the votes have been split among the losing candidates!

Will it not be better if we adopt the French system? The results in many constituencies may change if we have this system. It will result in additional expenditure if we have to conduct the elections twice for most of the constituencies. But this system will ensure that every constituency is represented by a person elected by a majority of the people, not just by people whose number is larger than the number of people who voted for any of the other candidates.

Tailpiece: My guess is Ms Le Pen will win the second round and become the next President of France. If this happens, it will prove the sound reasoning behind the French system. (A similar two-round system is followed for election of members to the French Parliament as well.)